THE SACRIFICE: Secret Society Romance (4Horsemen Series Book 3) Read online

  It was always tomorrow, never today.

  I was safe here wrapping my arms around my bent knees, clamping my eyes down. No one knew this existed so when I heard Birdy call my name a few minutes later I chalked it up to the Molly.

  The same Molly I just crossed off my list of fun drugs. Fuck Molly, she can join Voldemort in the we don’t discuss you pile.

  Begging her voice to stop saying my name in the way that tempted not just Anarchy but that damn organ in my chest, Mayhem, I gritted my teeth together.

  Become Hefner... only the one sad version after the girls left and dying became a real possibility.

  The Molly must have been a bad batch because I wasn’t just hearing my name, but footsteps too. Every one of my limbs shook, my eyes still shut but not stopping the tears from creeping down my face, and I kept forcing my head back against the wood hoping it would knock me out.

  My animal was feeling a lot of fucking change and we didn’t like it.

  The drugs running rampant through my system had me believing I could feel her small hands covered in rough patches where every kind of board has had its way with her.

  My mantra of asking her to stop slipped out into a mumble, “Please stop.”

  Birdy’s monotone, raspy voice, responded, “Stop what? Are you okay?”

  My eyes unclamped expecting to calm my anxiety realizing she wasn’t there when her warm breath hit my face making me break out into goosebumps.

  “What are you doing here?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know when I saw her sitting in my shirt again in front of me. It was bringing back memories without her trying.

  “You run, I chase. It seemed like you were hellbent on keeping that pact back there even though it looked like you were dying all on your own.”

  Sniffling up whatever I could internally from showing on the outside, I smudged the tears away even though I could still feel the moisture on my cheeks mixing with the glitter.

  She was listening, chasing me for the second time, and none of it was because I paid her. She was doing it on her own accord. Pretty soon we wouldn’t be able to shake each other if we kept up this pace.

  Her body was draped over mine everywhere it could be, joints connecting, forearms against each other, skin to skin, when she leaned into me with her chin resting on her hands. “What’s actually wrong? If I’m way off base just tell me…”

  “You’re making me question everything. Myself included.”

  Sitting up in front of me with her palms on my arms, she seemed to be so sure, “Let me guess, no one’s ever made you question anything?” She only waited a moment before continuing while I still tried to breathe slower into the quieter space. “Look, this is the hard part but it’s worth it, right? Romeo and Juliet had to question their whole lives for each other.”

  No one ever questioned me let alone made me question myself like some self-help book.

  No one asked me to confirm or deny anything when Voldemort showed up dead.

  No one questions what I do or don’t do for the Clave.

  No one questions me in a house full of paid girlfriends.

  Only Birdy.

  “Does this mean you’re giving into me?” She was the only one holding back now and we both knew it.

  Stretching my legs further, still bent at the knees, I created more distance between us that I was hoping would keep me safe from her truth if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She was adaptive as ever when she stood up only to lower herself down onto my lap.

  Fuck.

  I wanted everything being said to be the whole truth.

  The kind of truth where she could love me too.

  My hands smoothed up her bare legs, “Do you wanna know what I’ve learned so far?” I didn’t wait for approval when my hands snaked around her to the small of her back, “I’m falling in love with you.”

  I felt her tense even though she tried to cover it up and I felt my anxiety jump to attention realizing I was changing my life all based on the fact that I was hoping she’d love me too.

  Zero confirmation is what I had and she wasn’t one to give me false hope either.

  Her voice whimpered between us with her eyes boring into me, “You can’t love me… we’re Capulets and Montagues.”

  That was the one truth I didn’t want to hear, the kind that hurt.

  We were on two opposite sides of control and order. We were a gang member and a cult member trying to fall in love even though fate wanted us apart because it was better for business.

  No more rules.

  No more distractions.

  My only prerogative was us getting out of this alive with our hearts in our hands.

  My hand moving down to her ass, I carefully moved, laying her down on the mess of puffy blankets and pillows below me. Her knees glued together, I pulled her down to me until her ass hit my crotch with her legs falling to one side. I watched them fall open for me and looking into her ocean eyes I realized I would die for this girl even if it meant having as little time as Romeo and Juliet.

  Moments.

  Seconds.

  Days.

  Years.

  Whatever I could get.

  Holding myself above her, I lowered in a push up position until my lips were hovering over hers, “I’m okay drinking the Kool-Aid for you.”

  She brushed her soft lips with mine and my whole body screamed at me to get myself out of this state of purgatory by choosing her, right now, however far she’d let me go. My hands grazed up her body under my shirt, her small perky breasts giving me chills before I decided the material was in my way.

  “I wanna appreciate your body,” my lips brushed hers and my heart kicked up into high gear as I slowly shimmied her out of my shirt that was way too big for her frame. I let my eyes dart down her beautiful body when her hands relaxed on top of mine instead of tensing like the ball of nerves I knew she was.

  “Tell me this isn’t a mistake,” she had as much inside holding her back as I did.

  Kissing her neck down to her chest, I muttered against her perfectly warm skin, “We’re a tragedy not a mistake.”

  Just like Romeo and Juliet, destined but also doomed.

  Trailing kisses down her body slowly, I watched her hips wiggle in anticipation. Even if we were a mistake, we were the good kind that went unacknowledged just to keep the magic intact. She was going to have to wait patiently while I worshipped her tonight.

  I didn’t want to commit her to memory but leave her fingerprints on my soul.

  My hands grasped her hips holding her still while I teased her with feather light kisses on the inside of her thighs when I heard her whimper, “Khaos.”

  Looking up at her tormented facial expression, I smirked, letting my lips finally touch where we both wanted them to. She was slick and all the glitter I had rubbed off on her glimmered against the twinkle lights.

  Her hands grabbed mine when she said, “Wait…” in a whisper. Anarchy groaned but not louder than my heart and soul did. Looking at her, I waited for her to continue as I hovered over her again. “I haven’t in a long time…”

  Pressing down into my elbows, I felt our bodies flush, all that warmth ready to implode. Holding her cheek in my hand, I traced her lips with my thumb before kissing her gently, “I haven’t since I met you. Let’s just pretend we’re virgins again since I feel like a goddamn virgin right now. Turns out you’re pretty hard to live up to.”

  Impossible, actually.

  Birdy was one of a kind and all kinds of an antidote for every ailment I had.

  GRACE

  Our lips turned hungry as our tongues wrestled against my half-truth still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

  It would have been a while if I wasn’t counting the Molly in the bathroom with Dove’s fingers.

  Before that it had been probably a year since he had made me come. Usually, I finish myself off when he’s done, privately in the shower away from him.

  Still a half truth when you don’t count him forcing h
imself on me.

  Khaos was laser focused on me and that alone had me in knots ready to release all the tension.

  I was putty in his hands as our kiss became even deeper. Letting myself touch him, I felt his strong arms and smooth chest until my hands found the top of his undone jeans. “We’re going to combust,” it was a thought that made its way out past my lips.

  Molly be damned, there was a clear separation between the two highs I was experiencing. One was stoking the fire and the other was the actual fire.

  The high of him was unmatched.

  I sensed his smirk against my chest before I saw it, “I’m ready for that. I’ve been waiting for this happy ending with you...” His lips tightened around my hard nipple and I felt my back arch following his mouth. He was taking his time and the butterflies in my stomach were killing me.

  “Khaos, I’m… nervous.” I whispered when he kissed my cheek innocently.

  “Just breathe, babe. It’s all gonna feel good.” His hand cupped my cheek and just feeling his warm breath on my skin had my lashes fluttering to stay open, trying not to get too lost in him.

  Everything did feel good and that was the problem.

  I didn’t deserve this kind of devotion when I was full of half-truths and off limits in a way I couldn’t protect him from.

  Sinking back down between my legs, he smirked again like this was always the plan: stalk, please, death pact. His lips weren’t as feather light this time when his fingers found my clit before his tongue did.

  My hips pushed down into him chasing his tongue without permission when I felt his lips brush against me. His tongue was warm, and I gasped at his precision.

  I was willing to bet Dove couldn’t find my clit on a map and Khaos found it without any help.

  “Fuck, you taste like sugar,” he groaned taking a breath, letting me take one too. My lungs were on fire and ready to explode if I kept holding it.

  My fingers dug into his hands at my hips that were holding me down as he continued to suck my clit between his lips. My hips wiggled in his grip when I felt the pressure in the pit of my stomach trying to deliver an orgasm.

  I was trying desperately to enjoy this moment, but it was hard to ignore all of my own insecurities and doubts.

  I felt his fingers slip inside me, tempting me to come undone with just the feeling of more of him touching me. His fingers pumped painfully slowly as he continued bringing me closer to the edge with his tongue. Crawling back up to me until our faces were parallel, “I’m down to do this all night, trust me, but I think you’re holding back babe.”

  I nodded in agreement knowing that I couldn’t and didn’t want to hold out much longer.

  His lips kissed every inch of my face down to my neck when he whispered, “I don’t know who hurt you but it’s okay to feel good.”

  It’s easy putting on a brave face in a room full of girls and rules that keep us apart. This was different. This was him and I, alone, doing things out of our norm.

  Roping my arms around his, I held onto him and my fingers dug into his shoulders as I felt my stomach drop. The orgasm was crawling up my legs as my back arched pushing me further against him.

  “That’s it, baby. Ride the wave,” his hot breath gave me goosebumps while I came all over his fingers breathing heavily.

  Loosening my clutch, I felt myself lower to the floor when he kissed the tip of my nose. He was the most selfless person I had ever met and I wondered if that’s what made him feel the need to be so on all the time.

  If that’s where his glitter tears came from.

  He was the kind of guy you got lost in until it became addicting. Until all hope of a recovery or normal life was a lost cause.

  “I wish I met you years ago,” my words hung there in the air between us.

  “A lot of trauma we could have avoided... At least now we can spot the difference between what matters and what doesn’t, fakes and authentics, truths and lies.”

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat knowing he was being a lot more giving than me, in more than one way.

  He was letting me in and I was still giving him half-truths.

  Not wasting any time my hands worked his still open pants until I found how hard he was. Sneaking my hand inside, I let my fingers tease his length before I pushed him down onto the blankets. Straddling his legs, I pulled his briefs and jeans off between us watching him spring out.

  Gasping at his girth and length on the inside, I tried to play it cool on the outside. Letting my hand close around him, I moved my body down to accommodate me returning the favor.

  Leaning up, his fingers caught my chin before I could taste him for myself, “I’m flattered you think I have that kind of stamina and control but that’s not how I wanna come with you. Come here.”

  My heart started to race as his hands grasped my ass again pulling me back onto his lap while he still sat up. Kissing my shoulder, he whispered, “If you want to stop just let me know, Birdy.”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck loosely I felt his hand between us when I felt his tip dance around my slickness. For a split second I debated if his size would hurt when I shook off the roles of virgins he gave us.

  Sitting down slowly, I perched myself on his hand trying to control how slow or fast we go. Our lips rubbing but not kissing he whispered, “I’m not trying to sound cocky… take it slow. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

  I believed him.

  Making sure I slowly took every inch of him, I sat down further, biting my lip trying to adjust to just how much he was testing my limits. Every limit.

  Settling all the way down on his length, I stilled feeling just how deep he was inside of me, making my clit throb for me to keep going. He sat up closer when I paused, making sure he was right there for me while his tense breath only got more jagged.

  Slowly rocking my hips, I felt his fingertips trail up and down my back keeping me close as his lips sparred with mine for control.

  Every touch from him felt warm and comforting, only making me feel more wet between my legs, a slick kind of wet that made the adjustment to his size easier.

  “Fuck, Birdy,” escaped from his lips against mine when I finally adjusted to just how tightly I was hugging his girth.

  “Khaos…” I don’t know why I whimpered his name besides the obvious throws of pleasure, but he took over, rolling me onto my back again. The momentary emptiness I felt without him inside of me felt more painful than any beating I had ever gotten from Dove.

  Laying down, I pulled him into me practically begging for more of him when he slowly pushed his tip between my legs again. My eyes clamped down taking in the awestruck way he filled me not only physically, but in every way someone could.

  His lips pressed lazy kisses along my neck as his hands held himself up over me. Even that distance felt painful when my arms around his neck dragged him down even closer, flush against me.

  “I don’t wanna stop,” between jagged breaths I managed to give him something in return besides my moans.

  Thrusting between my legs I felt him claim every inch of my pussy in a way no one had. After this I was pretty sure Dove would notice he didn’t fit the mold anymore, not the one Khaos was creating.

  “Hey,” his husky voice dripping in choked moans saw me getting lost in my own thoughts. If Khaos is the high than Dove is the NA program mandated by the court. “Don’t ghost me, not while I’m still inside you, babe.”

  He refused to let me fade away, to be so see through he couldn’t notice me, a ghost the way I was every other day.

  I normally lived on the proverbial edge, but right now? I felt the adrenaline of being alive without having to risk myself, at least not the parts I normally did.

  A smile took my lips hostage while our lips brushed and our chests heaved unwilling to breathe until we both reached ecstasy. Still clutching onto him I let myself kiss his perfectly toned skin down his neck to his shoulder when I whispered. “I’m on the pill, it’s okay…”

 
It was one of the first things Dove made me do after juvie.

  Khaos’s strong hands smoothed down my back until he was cupping my ass, pushing me further into his brutal thrusts.

  That’s when he broke me.

  Broke every last reservation, any doubt, and all remaining nerves - everything coming between us in this moment.

  I didn’t think it was possible after all our teasing when I felt Khaos get even harder inside of me, making me tremble and ache even more. My legs shook against his in a pathetic attempt to keep up when he was a professional at making women melt. I was just awkward and bad at participating since Dove never expected me to.

  His lips caught mine again before opening his mouth on mine, his tongue tangling with me before he pulled away only enough to whisper. “Are you sure?”

  I decided to speak his language when I whispered back, “Pinky promise.” That’s all he needed when he stopped trying to impress me with his stamina.

  Our eyes never closed or looked away when I felt myself coming again as my limbs tangled with his and I let out the kind of moans that I would normally keep inside. In some breathy grunts I felt his hips press into mine before I felt something new… warmth where Dove was ice cold.

  Khaos was a force to be reckoned with and I was starting to believe his delusions that we had a chance at faking our own deaths together.

  Impossibilities seemed possible with him even if we were on opposite ends of corruption.

  Shifting from between my legs, he pulled a blanket up to cover us, when his eyes found mine and he let his head fall to my stomach, leaving a kiss behind. “Make me a pinky promise.”

  Tilting my head down I sat against the wall holding the blanket over my chest, “Depends. What kind of promise?”

  Holding up his pinky, I linked mine with his knowing I couldn’t say no to him, “Pinky promise you’ll go on the date with me. No matter what.”

  Tightening my pinky around his, I leaned in to kiss it and agree, “Pinky promise.”

  It wasn’t poison, but it certainly felt binding. I let myself soften around him, taking him seriously when I knew I couldn’t without risking him getting hurt.