THE SACRIFICE: Secret Society Romance (4Horsemen Series Book 3) Page 21

  I begged her to stay every night but after I passed out she would sneak off into the darkness and return in the daylight.

  “Did you take your meds? The right amount, not the Khaos amount.” She put down some grocery bags even though I didn’t ask her to go shopping or need her too. I was a champ when it came to groceries, fully stocked on junk food.

  “Yes, ma’am. I took twice the dose of everything, can’t ever be too safe, ya know?” Rounding the island, I was pretending she gave in to being my wife and this kind of domestication didn’t terrify me when I kissed her exposed neck. Whispering against her warm skin, “A little pre-date fun?”

  My hips pushing forward, I pinned her against my island while my good hand roamed the patch of skin where her shirt rode up. “I can’t today, Khaos. I have to be at this thing… for work.”

  She was still living a double life, meanwhile, I booted mine to the side lines and adapted to being independent. Kennedy was the last to leave and was already moved out after breaking the news she got a loft in the city. I didn’t need her to cut ties like that so quickly, I was growing up at a rapid rate, but I was gonna support whatever she wanted and always be here for her no matter what.

  Groaning into her neck, my body went limp against hers, “You can’t keep saying no forever. What’s scaring you?”

  A mystery broken hand?

  That I’m skipping work so you could classify me as a bum?

  Or the fact that trusting our own hearts is riskier than joining a gang or cult?

  Twisting around in my arms, I knew she was putting on a brave face even though I stopped paying for those a long time ago. “I’m not scared… tomorrow. Sober though, okay?”

  Sober. What the fuck? She was speaking to me like a drug addict.

  Broken hand trumps bottle directions on usage.

  Standing on the boardwalk an hour early wasn’t in my wheelhouse, but I was making a point of being early since I was two hours late last time. I was balancing the scale and making sure fate didn’t fuck us when it came time to drink the poison.

  We had been fucking like bunnies since I got terminator status metal in my dominant broken hand. Not having distractions in the bedroom was leading to a lot of new experiences for me when it came to sex. We were christening every room of my house, leaving touches of Birdy everywhere I could, but a date was a different way inside of Birdy. I wanted to be inside her anyway I could be - not just her pussy.

  I wanted to be just as much of a part of her soul.

  Holding flowers, I ran my fingers through my hair again trying not to give into the anxiety knocking at my door.

  Finally, I spotted Birdy, in cut off shorts and a tank top that outlined every curve perfectly. I was already salivating when she walked over to me.

  “Flowers? You’re trying awful hard… least you made it this time. I was really tempted to stand you up but you’re too cute and wounded right now.”

  Pulling her close, flush against me while I leaned against the railing, ready to kiss her. Nothing was going to ruin this date, the one where she officially falls for me.

  The boardwalk was infamous for the places to eat, the beach in close proximity, the games and the rides. It was a permanent carnival. I took her hand trying to combat the nerves we both had for no reason.

  “Truth or dare?”

  She looked at me with hooded eyes, “You first, truth or dare?”

  “I’m a dare kind of guy babe. Hit me…” We were about to walk past a tattoo shop when I knew exactly what she was going to say.

  I wasn’t a stranger to tattoos or piercings.

  If she asked, I’d probably get her name.

  “Come on,” dragging me behind her she walked right up to the counter and without hesitation made her demands. “He wants his nose pierced.”

  I may not be a stranger but needles fucking suck. I don’t care which horseman you identify with; you could be death and know needles suck.

  The guy was more than happy to meet her demands and it didn’t escape me that his eyes scanned her a few times. It was a weird discomfort lodged in my chest when I realized I was jealous. A kind of jealousy I paid to not ever feel, and I didn’t until now.

  The alphabet had lives outside of me that I wasn’t a part of and when guys thought they were hot I acted like a wing man, not boyfriend.

  Birdy was much different. I wasn’t about to be her wingman.

  Wrapping my arms around her waist from behind, I followed her to an empty chair that he lowered all the way down. Finding Birdy’s hand, I yanked her closer to the chair when the guy showed me no mercy, pulling out all the tools he needed to make a hole in me.

  “Don’t be a baby… it’s quick.” Her lips were pulled upright into a smirk teasing me the way she always did.

  Patting my lap, I was hoping she’d do more than hold my hand when she straddled me, and I gripped her thighs as his gloved hands twisted my face pulling my eyes from hers. A quick pinch later I wanted to be dramatic but I swallowed the pain so it could mix with the perks in my system. I couldn’t show up to a date with the girl of my dreams sober unless she wanted me to have a panic attack in public.

  When I sat up, I messed up my hair again, looking in the small mirror at the small gold hoop in my nose on the opposite side of Birdy’s.

  “We’re twins now. Kind of pervy after what you did to me last night. I kind of like it…” smirking my way through my words her hand shoved me backwards.

  “I told you not to talk about being my brother in public. It’s weird for people,” we both snuck a look at the guy who was creeped out beyond belief that had us biting down laughter.

  I cause trouble but she sure does match my own mischief.

  Her smile was contagious, making it easy to love her. Throwing a $100 bill on the chair I wrapped my arm around her neck pulling her into my side and carrying on. I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to hit on her.

  For a ghost she sure does draw the eye.

  The discomfort in my chest was kicking my anxiety’s ass.

  “Come on, I’ll win you something.”

  The sun was getting lower, not setting yet, which is perfect because I wanted to be high in the air on the Ferris wheel when it did. It was the perfect seat in California to watch the colors change into an ombré of cotton candy.

  Spotting a unicorn hanging up above some kind of game I knew that was the one I had to win her.

  She was my own personal unicorn.

  Not being able to use your dominant hand while impressing a girl is hard shit. My black cast was significantly in the way, but I wasn’t giving up.

  “Khaos, it’s okay, really.” Her voice was smoothed out trying to talk to my ego. She knew that was a fragile thing.

  “I’m going to win… this fucking cast,” turning back to the game I kept going determined until I saw her face. A small smile I didn’t earn, she was appeasing me in a way that wasn’t genuine.

  Taking out two twenties, I handed the guy the money and pointed to the one I wanted. Side stepping, I let him hand it to her which earned me a real smile this time.

  I speak Birdy fluently and I could spot the difference instantly.

  Putting my arm around her neck, I pulled her close, kissing her temple, “You’re the realest thing in my life. I don’t want you to ever fake a smile because you think it’s what I want.”

  I burned a lot of daylight trying to win a stuffed unicorn when I had one right by my side, 100% real.

  Fishing out Starbursts from my pocket, I showed her the hand full watching which she’d pick when she plucked a red one out of my palm. “Over the pink Starbursts? Blasphemy.”

  She laughed the way only I could get out of her and it had become my favorite sound.

  Fingering the wrapper out from between her lips, she smiled knowing Anarchy was wide awake and ready to play when she was.

  “Cherry is more dangerous, sweet, seductive. It’s the badass fruit of all the fruits. Strawberries are too prissy.”

/>   Cherry just became my favorite too.

  Walking up to the Ferris wheel, the guy took the tickets from my fingers and pointed to the seats open in front of us. Birdy had a look of panic wash over her when I hadn’t even considered she might be afraid of heights.

  Touching her thigh and giving it a small squeeze, I watched her jump out of her skin. “Are you scared of heights?”

  “What? No. I’m just excited and nervous. Isn’t this thing really old? How do we know it’s safe?”

  The badass had a weakness.

  Heights… and me.

  “I’m right here, it's gonna be okay. We just need to take your mind off it. Truth or dare?”

  She grilled me with a look that could kill, easily, “Seriously? It’s not the time for games, Khaos.”

  “That’s actually wrong… there’s always time for games. Come on, it’ll take your mind off of it. Truth or dare?”

  She was white knuckling the bar over our laps which so much force I thought when it stopped her fingers would be left behind. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her body was trembling so hard my heart broke. I had to distract her, or she might die in a truly un-badass way.

  “Truth,” she gritted out the word still trying to focus on her fear.

  “Do you like me? Like really like me? You know how I feel already but Miss-Tight-Lips over here…” her ability to focus on her fear faded fast when her cheeks flared up in a pink embarrassment.

  “Khaos…”

  “It’s an easy question, babe. We’ve got it all: chemistry, sexual attraction, intellectual depths unseen by the world, we’re both outcasts, we’re yin and yang. You name it, we got it. We’re compatible.”

  Her cheeks got even rosier when she cupped her face in her hands, mumbling between her fingers, “Khaos...”

  Wiggling my way from the bar, I put my shoes on the seat and stood up when I grabbed the bar above my head. “No more avoiding it, Birdy. I don’t need you to say you love me, but I need to know how you feel.”

  For the slightest second I thought of the last girl I loved and in retrospect she never admitted to how she felt. I wasn’t making the same mistake twice.

  Her voice was much louder when I added a dash of her only other weakness, making her eyes finally open, “Khaos! Get down! You’re wearing a cast you asshole!” I could see the panic in her features, all dusted in a ghostly pale.

  “Tell me, Birdy,” grabbing the bar in front of us with one hand I silently thanked my body for the ability to do one handed pull ups. “I’ve only got one hand...” I was holding onto the cold metal with ease, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “Yes, okay, yes! I like you… a lot. Now please get back inside!” She was too frozen in fear to reach for me, but I didn’t need her to. Monkey bars were my shit when I was younger, and I was pretty much killing it right now when I stepped back onto the seat. As soon as I sat down, I caged her in, letting my hands push against the metal, leaning into her.

  “Good, because I feel too much for you for this to be one sided…”

  Her hands cupped my face, and I felt her lips against mine, soft but meaningful. She tasted like cherry Starbursts, my new favorite flavor.

  Deepening the kiss, I sensed her actions speaking louder than any acclamation could from Birdy when I felt her hand drag down my chest, falling onto my lap. I practically melted under her touch and the groan escaped my mouth before I could even contemplate stopping it.

  Whimpering around the words I couldn’t help it, “I fucking love you, Birdy.”

  Pulling me into her again she actually shushed me before I felt her mouth open on mine. Instead of watching the sunset turning to a watercolor painting, we were making out like some lovestruck teenagers.

  After we got off, Birdy conquering two fears at once, she laced her fingers with mine securing my arm around her neck.

  It didn’t matter if she ever loved me as long as she never left.

  “Ice cream?” She smiled at me and I took it as a strong yes.

  “Bruh, not even a question.” Her hip swayed into mine and I couldn’t imagine just being friends with this girl my whole life or marrying anyone else.

  She was the kind of girl you don’t get over, in a good way.

  This ice cream shop was iconic for its 50’s theme and music in LA. Normally, tourists didn’t know about it so it was still a treasure for the residents. Pushing the door open for Birdy it was packed but worth it.

  Only surrounded by teenagers do I truly feel my age. Even if I didn’t look it.

  Standing in line, I pulled her against me leaning into the cold display of all the flavors with her unicorn and flowers creeping out of her stuffed backpack. If I wasn't a gentleman, I’d have other plans, until then my hands were going to roam Birdy in the most perfect display of affection, enough but not too much.

  The guys in line behind us had been checking her out the entire time and the smell of booze was trailing off their every word. I wasn't blind. I was watching them in between getting lost in her eyes when she suddenly jumped startled at something.

  Before I could make a move, she was already twisting out of my touch as I heard the words what a tramp under one guy’s breath. Cocking back a fist she slammed her knuckles into the stranger’s face before I could even be in the loop, she was making moves without any backup.

  A wild notion considering I was almost always never without backup if I was even there to clean up my own messes.

  The guy cradled his face, blood oozing down to his cupid’s bow, stammering around words when his friends slurred their words together, “Fuck you, bitch. Don’t show it off if you don’t want the attention.”

  Okay, I was catching onto the teenage brewery behind us and what had happened now.

  Birdy’s hand around my bicep was yanking me away from the group of guys when I ended up toe-to-toe with the one who just got brave. I was stationary, solid muscle against her yanking, I wanted to get blood on my hands for the first time and it wasn’t for the Clave, but this was her moment, and I wasn’t about to take that from her.

  Pushing my pointed finger in his face, I felt my entire body tense as I let the silence intimidate him into cowering alongside his friend with the broken nose because of my girlfriend.

  Years of watching Grimm’s silence swallow people whole came in handy.

  Years of proximity to Vic showed me how close you could really get to death without being touched.

  Years of feeling Bowen’s intensity showed me just how powerful a blank face could be.

  Birdy gave my arm another hard yank when she whisper-yelled, “We have to get out of here. Khaos, come on. Someone’s gonna call the cops.”

  Shifting feet, I scared him even though I was right in front of him when I whispered, “Boo,” before I let myself laugh at how much he looked like he would pee himself. I wasn’t a violent man, but I knew when to show my strength - for what matters, and Clave was at the bottom of that list.

  GRACE

  I never stopped to contemplate what I found attractive in Khaos; it was innate, like whatever he chose to be I was going to be attracted to him regardless.

  “Fuck me. That was hot,” he was practically groaning behind me trying to keep up with my speed walking. Evading the cops was a talent that I wasn’t letting die now.

  “Shhh… I can’t think.” Turning around I stopped to push my hand over his mouth and looked around the board walk for anywhere to hide when the police behind us shouted for us to stop.

  That was fast. Punks, I hope his nose was broken.

  Khaos was in a state of euphoria while I was evading the po-po. Getting caught wasn’t an option when the cops closed in on us still shouting for us to stop when we hit the rail of the boardwalk.

  I felt my heart actually stop beating. Cops meant I wouldn’t be a ghost anymore.

  I would be seen - in an unflattering light too.

  “I can’t get caught, Khaos. You don’t understand…” I was pleading with him to look in the
closet and under the bed until the monsters went away like I was a child.

  “Quick, pick a hand,” he shoved two closed fists between us forcing me to look down when all my organs and body parts were on the same page: run.

  Even if I wasn’t in the Clipped Wings I couldn’t afford to be caught, not with the record I have and with Dove expanding into even worse bad shit by the month.

  “No, we need to get out of here, Khaos. I can’t get caught.” My voice and eyes pleaded for him to save me even though I wouldn’t let him.

  His tongue swiped over his lips, “Do you trust me?”

  My palms slapped the side of my thighs, silently whining as the police only got closer. The end of the pier didn’t offer many options except swimming or one of us getting caught and if it came down to it - it would have to be him.

  “Khaos,” clamping my eyes down shut, I knew he wouldn’t help me think until I answered. “Yes,” the word shook in my throat without any regret that I was admitting something to him I didn’t intend to.

  Closing me in against the railing I watched the police behind him get even closer, not giving up no matter how far we got. His lips brushed mine and I could feel him breathing heavily, “Good. Now pick a hand.”

  Swallowing down the panic in my body, I whispered back, “Left.”

  His lips weren’t just brushing mine but getting caught between mine as he whispered into my mouth, “Fuck, the right was kissing you. Come on... we gotta jump.” Khaos climbed the bench next to us offering me a hand while I was still figuring out how to breathe after a moment like that.

  Only Khaos had that kind of power over me.

  The kind of power that took your breath away even if he didn’t touch you. I wanted to stay reactive all the time just so I could live in this moment instead.

  With our feet on the railing, we took one step, looking at each other with the police shouting, close enough to reach out when we jumped.

  I felt my stomach drop instantly before I settled into the feeling. I always thought skating or surfing was the closest I would get to flying but this - this felt like wings as we dropped into the ocean. The oxygen was kicked out of my lungs as I plunged into the water with my eyes closed before I could swim to the top again.